Cleaning out my closet

Today I decided I had enough of the mess in my house so I decided to clean out my bedroom. It took me 9 hours but it is (with exception of the windows) clean. I couldn't see the floor in my bedroom so messy was it. I moved in my house 10 months ago but I am stilling living out of boxes and bags. Even my bedroom hasn't any curtains. I don't have the many to do all things at the same time so I wait untill I have money before I finish anything in my house.

Today I cleaned out my closet and put clothes that I no longer wear in bags. I also collected all my headscarves and put them on a hanger. I was shocked how many I have. I don't wear them daily because I don't feel comfortable wearing them outside. I don't like being singled out on the street by being to different. Also because difficult questions people ask.

I collected my scarves over the years. Some come from dutch shops but some are german or even from the USA (love ordering online only delivering can be a bitch). I love the feeling on my head it makes me feel centered and concentrated. I read many articles about this subject. I think that covering your head is a decision that every woman from all religions or even atheist should be able to do if it feels right. I don't believe in forced covering or because everyone does it, I believe it must be your own choice.

I use my headscarves when I am studying or doing religious work. it keeps my hair out of my face and the pressure of the band helps me to concentrate on my work or reading. I don't think I will ever cover fulltime although I sometimes envy muslim ladies because they can wear headscarves without any judgements.

Rambling on my christmas and washing machine :D

Christmas was great fun this year. Because I didn't get any gifts with Sinterklaas my family decided that I would get all my presents at christmas eve (we normally don't give gifts during christmas). They really spoiled me! I got bodylotion, a candle, two teatins (I am a real tea freak), some Donald Duck magazines and to top it off..... I got a green Ipod nano!!! I had put it on my list as a joke and never ever expected that I would ever get a gift that large!!!

Christmas was really fun. My family had two great diners together. On the first day of christmas my sister and her boyfriend were with us but they had to go to see his family too. The second day of christmas my boyfriend came over to celebrate with my family. It was only the second time he ever met them so I was really nervous but it all went great! I laughed a lot and ate to much like every year ;).

Today I decided to replace my washingmachine. I found a great one and to my surprise the store asked me if they could deliver it in two hours and install it at my home!! That's really good service!!! I have been without a washing machine for almost half a year and it gives a great feeling of freedom to have one again :).

Guilt and making my home a home

It is almost christmas, a time to spend with family and friends. I am feeling a little guilty that I love to celebrate it with my family instead of with my friends. I would like to please everyone but I just can't. If I try to please everyone I would have to travel for two straight days. Next year I need to think this over before I decide to spend all my time with my family.

Feeling guilty is something I struggle with a lot. I try to please everyone but don't spend enough time with just myself. This evening was the first evening I could spend alone at home. I fell asleep before I even had diner and woke up because someone texted me on my phone. I am so tired because everyone wants something from me that I also want to give. Hospitality is very important too me but I can't show my house because of the mess. I have been  living here for almost a year but it feels like a student apartment. I don't have enough closetspace for all my clothes, I don't have any curtains, I don't have doors in all my rooms etc. I know these are just luxury problems but still....

How to make my home a real home without neglecting my friends and family.... that is my real question :s.

What to do with midwinter

It is almost that special time of the year where I take a step back to enjoy the warmth of family and friends (okay, good food and wine too). I especially like the twelve days around midwinter. I can't celebrate it exactly the way I want because I live in a christian world and that would mean that I would have to celebrate it alone but I prefer the warmth of the seasoning so I always go back to my family. I always try to incorporate some of my believes into their christmas celebration (my family is non believing). I use those twelve days to reflect on my believes, which do I still stand for and what has changed this year in my life? Do I still feel the same connections with the Gods? What can I change so make myself a better person (no, I will never became Mother Theresa but I still can try sometimes to bring some good ;)). My spiritual path is a strange one that especially needs evaluation this year. Asatru is calling really badly but I don't want to fall for it without thinking and praying it over and that is really hard. I have fought for years to keep standing in the modern witchcraft/paganism and by changing directions so drastically I feel like that fight is going to start all over again.

A part that I especially like during this season is the tree. I like to decorate it and putting the lights in. This year I still haven't set up a tree because I don't know how to get one to my home ;). I hoped my parents would put one up for christmas but they don't want to do it because they think it is to much of a work :(. So probably I won't see a christmastree this year :(.

How do you celebrate christmas/midwinter/yule? And what is your favourite part?

Some changes are nice ones :D

This month has been a little bit crazy. I have been single for over 8 years. That sounds kinda pathetic but I rather want to be single then fall in love all the time. But yes it happened, I fell in love with al wonderfull guy :D. I am really happy especially because he likes me too ;).

Sinterklaas

On the 5th of december we always celebrate Sinterklaas (saint Nicolas) in the Netherlands. It is one of my favourite festivities of the year. Originally its a catholic festivity but the story of a entity punishing the insolent and giving gifts to good children is much older. Saint Nicolas rides on a horse on top of the roofs and sends his helper Zwarte Piet (Black Piet) down the chimney to bring gifts. He comes at the end of november to our country with a big steamship from Spain with all his helpers. And yes, the put that on national television every year. Every year there is a special news program about its progress towards the Netherlands (their are every year dificulties and stories that he can't come this year to scare the children).

I no longer believe in Sinterklaas (okay you are right.... Santa Claus is a really cheap Coca Cola nock off of the real thing Sinterklaas :D), but I still celebrate his feast every year with my family. It always starts with putting all our names in a bowl and taking one out. For this person you have to het 3 gifts with verses.

Because the 5th of december is on a monday and we all need to work we celebrated it today. It was really funny the only litte hick up was that I didn't receive any gifts and my father got 6 :P. Yes, there was a little mix up who got who. But I still loved the evening and I really don't mind not getting any gifts, I am much happier with the warmth and fun I had with my family. The big laughs we have with each other are every year my biggest gifts and the reason why I love Sinterklaas so much.

We do "celebrate" christmas (think: food, fun and family) while I celebrate Yule at the same time ;). But we normally don't give each other gifts during christmas. Most of the time I am the only one to give something (the ugliest socks I can find to make everyone laugh). But I really like Sinterklaas better :D.

And about my gifts ;), I am told I will get them another time LOL.