Spiritual Event

Today I went to a spiritual market nearby my hometown. It was the biggest spiritual event in the Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourgh. I spend my time there with two of my close friends.

The market was fun. A lot of stands offering all kind of spiritual stuff. There were many cards (tarot and other) and other stuff like incense ( a LOT of incense) and even musical instruments!! A nice surprise to me where the stands about sjamanism. hey offered spirit shields, smudgers and dream catchers (yawn) I bought a beautiful feather smudger with a peacock feather (stands for pride and confidence), a leather rune pouch, some incense and a new simpler incense burner. Yes, I spend too much money.

There were also readings from paragnosts (some good, some bad) I had a really good one from a man and lady. The lady draws pictures for the person they do the reading for and together they explain and tell you what the problems on your path are and how you need to overcome those problems. They warned me that I needed to break down my walls and let people back into my life again or else I would become a hermit. They advised me to take babysteps and to trust myself. They sad that I am a wise person to whom people come with their questions (too true) and that I don't need to feel social awkward because people who bother to get to know me (learn my handguide) will see me for the person I am. It meant a lot to me because this is a major struggle I face daily that even got worse when I got sick.

To finish the day, I had my very first thai foot massage and I want one again!! It was so nice!! I really felt the pain disappear from my legs and feet after walking all day!

To top this day off, I got the news that young bunnies have been born and I will have mine soon!!!

Burn out

Last year I got a burn out. Yes, big statement for a young person. Over the last year I have had extensive treatment which has really helped me a lot. There is only one big hurdle to take, my job.

I absolutely totally love my job but the workload is really to heavy to handle right now. It is not the job, it is the conditions I have to work in that make my life almost unbearable at times. We don't have enough qualified and all round workers to do the job and there aren't even enough people to teach the new ones the ropes.'

Mentally I am getting better but my work holds me back. I really want to work fulltime but right now I can only handle 75%. I feel guilty because I am "sick". I don't know what to do anymore..... should I go and search for another job? I don't want to do that :(.

They want me to talk to the managers of my department to let them know what is happening to me but I don't really see the use for that :(. (O, if you think I am the only one: 2 others are totally at home and 2 more have difficulties but are still kinda managing).

Any ideas?

Waiting......

I am waiting for the birth of my little bunny. This sounds so strange but I have been waiting for almost 3 months now. Mama bunny is due this week so I hope for good news before the end of next week. I really love rabbits and the one I am getting is really big :D. I hope everything will go well and that in 8 weeks I have my bunny friend in my home.

What being sick means to me

Today has been an off day to me. Yesterday evening I probably ate something wrong which means that I got really sick over the night into this day.

The title of this entry is what being sick means to me. I am one of those blessed with a strange body. I have multiple chronic diseases that I was born with. It affects me daily but I don't let it affect my daily life. Yes, I work fulltime, live alone and have to manage everything on my own. I don't have to stay in bed all the time or have to stop working.

What it does mean to me is that I have to be really carefull with food. I have a chronic bowel disease (my white bloodcells are thinking that my bowell is a strange object that they have to eliminate...... figure that) which was the problem last evening. Everything that hasn't been cooked properly or is fat or has many spices means I will get really sick. So yes, I did have a fun night.

Being sick or having to watch out so not to get sick is something I have to handle on a daily basis. It also means that I can appreciate good days. A doctor ones told me that I walk the marathon every day so it isn't strange that I am tired a lot. Well, being tired won't stop me enjoying my life. It does mean that I have to be really thoughtfull what I do with my energy. So yes, I do enjoy living and learning even more because I know how bad it can be.

So tomorrow there will be another day that I can enjoy!! And I hope it won't be a cold and rainy one but a beautifull one that I can enjoy :).